There I was, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I could see the glimmer of light ahead in the dank tunnel I had got stuck in, as I fought my way ahead, the light grew brighter slowly but surely. Hope grew, dreams were dreamt. Then, there he was, like a ghastly potter. I was 10 seconds too late. Pooh all over the floor, in his pants, he was picking it up and trying to put it in the toilet. As I tried to wipe him down so he wouldn't spread it all the way upstairs to the bathroom, he stepped in it all. JOY! The perfect end to the perfect weekend. By all accounts he had pulled hair at his Saturday club. Then we had a treatment booked, in an attempt to rid him of the rash that appears round his mouth when he eats coloured things, like tomatoes or fish fingers, ketchup. Got that sorted, he was reasonably happy. Bounced till midnight, why did I allow myself to run out of melatonin?
Sunday. The lovely Lauren came to take him out for his fortnightly session. What a session she had at the play farm. He had the goat by the neck and cuddled it for quite a long time, then gave it a lick. She had been worried about the outcome, because both of them were capable of biting the other, but it ended with Ed licking the goat. Several Christmas trees had also felt his wrath, and some chap watching him eat his fish fingers, had a handful of peas thrown at him. In soft play, Ed also managed to climb out of the top through a hole in the net, which thankfully, didn't end badly. I think next time I'll send them somewhere else, Lauren said that wherever they were, she noticed a member of staff watching them! I guess that having let the pigs, the sheep, the goats out, strangled a rabbit, and poked a sheep in the eye - you get a reputation! Once home, his boots were full of sand, which mingled nicely with the sugar he ate straight out of the jar (new one). So Sunday ended with a gritty floor, gritty bed, gritty door handles, the pooh on the floor, and jumping till midnight.
'Grabby' That's the comment from our Monday school / home book. 'He has been very grabby.' Dear reader, that means that with lightning speed and no warning, he'll reach out and pull your hair, or snatch / scratch something. Monday, we had uncontrollable tears, the front door was a target again, as were the computers and TV. He finally fell asleep at midnight, having had his bottom smacked from jumping on his bed and keep coming downstairs. This left us both feeling - not great. This morning however, he went off happy again. Here's hoping to a good day.
Why share this? This is how everyday used to be. This is what most of the families living with autism go through, all the time. And while I am glad that weekend is over, I am sure that there are more of them out there waiting for me. But, and here is the big but (no pun intended) those sort of days are slowly becoming less, and the actions I have taken are paying off in our calm happy days. So, if you are a carer of an autistic child and you recognised anything of this in your life. If you haven't already, take action, read up and find a place to start. And start to make your difference now, clean up their diet and their environment, find a treatment that works for you and a therapist you like and trust. And you'll find that even at the end of your worst day, instead of being on your knees in despair, you'll be on your knees in gratitude that your reality has changed and it isn't like this all the time. You know, that would work for any problem. Albert Einstein said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results." So if you don't like your life, change it, trust me - things CAN get better! And the sh**ty weekend I have just had proves that. X
PS Love you Lauren xx