Monday, 20 May 2013

its difficult to socialise and go out with an autistic son

Finally one of the countless elbows makes direct contact with my face, it would have woken even the dead. My head slips off the few inches of pillow it had been on and I nearly fall off the wee bit of bed I have managed to hang onto. The culprit is taking up most of the bed, which is quite a feat as its quite large and he is quite small. Suddenly my heart sinks at memories of the night before, God, what has he done to his bedroom! I was just to tired to even look because I was to tired to do anything about it last night.

My darling sister had bought us tickets to Warhorse at the National Theatre (which was absolutely amazing, and the first night out Richard and I had had since I can remember)  and had also offered to babysit. She had come all the way from London and had gone back home about midnight, I got a text to say she was home about 1am, and remember distinctly hearing laughter coming from his room, this could be bad! I just hoped that he was laughing about what he had got up to with my sister. When we had arrived home, both her and Tom were laughing about it. Apparently he had got himself wet in the downstairs department so she had changed his pants. Remembering what I had said about his sensory issues, she thought he might like it if she put his pants on his head! Apparently he did, because he went upstairs and put on ever pair of underpants he could get his hands on, 14 in total, all on at the same time like some Guinness book of records. They had all had a great laugh and night together.

WOW! what a great Saturday, and it had all started off so badly. Ed had woken in bed with us, again, but in a really bad mood. Literally sat up in bed screaming, fell on the duvet biting it, ran down the stairs in rage and opened the front door, (its one of his things), and sat screaming in the living room. We played open the door shut the door a few times before he calmed down enough for me to remind him Auntie Margaret was coming today! Magic sentence, instant calm.

So its morning, I braved a look in his room to get him dressed. Now, the limits of what he could have done in there really is only limited by him imagination, anything is possible, but thankfully he must have just been playing the day in his head and laughing at putting on all those pants. With a non-verbal child, you never really know. This really was going to be the best weekend ever, because Lauren was coming today to take him out, so off they went to the local play farm. He loves it there, although I am not so sure they love him. The past two times he'd been, he lifted the latch on first the sheep and then the following week the pig pen, and let the animals out. Apparently they had been quite cross, but Lauren in her Action for Children top had stood her ground and pointed out perhaps they should have locked it. Also, the last two times he had licked some poor child on the cheek. My dear girl in her work top had just fronted it out bless her. This week we swapping licking for pushing. According to Lauren, Ed had been playing in the sand pit when a boy walked past and shoved him, Ed didn't respond immediately but when he had the opportunity - shoved him back. Now the boys sister either hadn't seen the first incident or had ignored it, but acted when she saw Ed shove her brother and came over all indignant. This is just the sort of thing I dread, its the straw that breaks the camels back and whilst I think I am quite a strong person - can't take that. I guess it's because I have to explain everything and it reinforced what autism has stolen from me. So I only ever take him out when I think its quite, and spend the whole time in like a high anxiety state. But my darling girl stood her ground and fronted the girl and her mother out. I am reminded of an occasion earlier this year, the weather was intermittently drizzly, Ed was bored and kept opening the front door, so I took him to the park. When we got there, there was only one other family, 2 adults and an older boy. Something about the boy and the way the adults stood back from him, set of my spider sense and I knew he had some special needs. He was having a great time. I watched them out of the corner of my eye as Ed went round and round on the roundabout, I was kind of thinking about our future. Would that be us? Then the sun came out, and with it other families, and the boy and his parents simply melted away, and part of me wanted to go up to them and tell them to stay, but I was busy at the other end of the playground looking after Ed and couldn't. I just felt desperately sorry for them, no one else had noticed. I felt invisible.

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