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Friday, 11 October 2013

can't live with him - can't live without him

Recently, Ed has been a joy. Much, much harder work than a neuro typical child, but for him a joy. The other day I mentioned it to my mum, inside cursing myself incase I jinx it (I am sure that child is psychic) and sure enough, yesterday he flew in a rage from the school taxi. The front door had to be open, all the appliances had to be unplug, books had to be thrown out the door, and he keep going in to Tom and hitting him, in the end I just had to put him in his room. Its amazing how your emotions can turn on a dime. When he is like that, God I wish I hadn't had him! Hate perhaps is too strong a word but my feeling are instantly on that spectrum.

Anyway, he came down a few minutes latter a little calmer and I jumped in the eye of the hurricane and did a bit of hoovering whist playing Mr Men on the Virgin+. Ahhhh! Calm. Latter that night whilst getting his bath ready, I went in his room and found his mattress on the floor. I knew I needed to make his bed because he had brought his duvet down and had the hoover tucked under it in the kitchen and had been loving it for the past hour. On putting his mattress back on the bed I found a very small patch of vomit - great. Maybe though that's why he was so upset, perhaps he had car sickness, or maybe his anger just made him sick - at any rate it needed cleaning and his bed needed changing. So I changed it from the spotty duvet to the green one with dinosaurs on it. And here I come to the reason for this particular post. On getting him out of the bath and on his bed to dry him and give him his coconut rub down, he saw the new duvet and his facial expression just melted my heart. His face was so open, so joyous. His little mouth was open in wonder and his little gappy teeth were showing (lost his two bottom teeth recently) imagine the happiest child in the world with the most open, innocent, angelic face and you come close. He got in bed so happy, and I lay down to read with him. And as I looked at him I thought what other 7 year old would have been so happy for so little, and I was just so overwhelmed with love for him that I think I am becoming bi-polar. x

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